The past few days have been very tough-I had been stuck inside with Lucas since Thursday. It turns out that he didn't have the flu but has a double ear infection. All the vomiting was from his post nasal drip, not a stomach bug. For those of you keeping count, Lucas has had 4 ear infections since December.
Marc finally sent me out on Sunday to pick up his 6 month pictures and to get some jeans. I have lost about 40 pounds so most of my clothes are falling off of me. When I am stressed, I don't eat so for most of the three months I was off on leave, I didn't eat much. Thus the dramatic weight loss.
Last night Marc and I had a long needed talk about how I was feeling. We cried and finally spoke the words I didn't want to say but needed to share-I am tired and I miss my old life. Most days I doubt my ability to be a good mom for Lucas and it breaks my heart. I hate this dance I seem to be doing with Marc's mom-her feeling like she isn't a part of Lucas' life and me feeling like she doesn't have time for Lucas because she is busy with Marc's sister's kids or her mom.
Everyday I have been looking out into our backyard, hoping to see the crocuses and daffodils pop up. I guess with them I hope to see a change in our struggles at home.
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2 comments:
Hi Lynn... thanks so much for dinner Friday!
Does Lucas have a Bumbo seat? JT loved his. (Well, we loved it.) He could be wherever we were and could "sit up like a big boy".
I have been thinking today that if Lucas could sit up, it might help with the ear infections... you know, use gravity to drain better.
See if any of your mom friends have one you can borrow. If not, let me know and I'll send you ours.
Hi STacy,
We don't have a bumbo but I have been thinking of getting one to help strengthen his back and neck muscles.
This will movitivate me to get one now:)
Lynn
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