Death-the first of many life lessons

When I was growing up, my parents made it a point for us kids to experience death. And lucky for us, my father had lots of aunts and uncles who died so we were on a pretty constant tour of funeral homes. Years later, my mom shared with us that they did this not to make us miserable but to get us ready. My parents didn't want our grandparents to be the first person we saw dead and completely freak out. Made sense. And she was right. By the time my grandmother died in 1986, we knew what to expect.

Fast forward to 2011. Lucas is now experiencing death for the first time. We had to put my cat Jeff down last night. He had stopped eating and drinking about 5 days before. A trip to the vet found him completely dehydrated (which I would have expected) but also a mass in his intestines. There wasn't any humane options but to end his suffering. I knew it; Jeff knew it-in fact, he knew it last weekend but I wasn't ready. When we got the prognosis, I was really upset and Lucas could see that. He spent a better part of Wednesday night asking if I was OK and wondering why I was so upset. We opted to keep Jeff at the vet overnight so they could keep him hydrated and comfortable. That lead to a number of questions from Lucas about where Jeffy cat was. I could tell Marc was not comfortable at all with this. So I just told him that Jeff was very sick and he wouldn't be coming home but Mommy was going to help make him feel better. Lucas erupted into tears at dinner after I told him that. I am not really sure if he fully understood or was just crying because I was crying.

Thursday after work was when I went back to the vet-Marc had arranged for Lucas to be at our neighbors so I could have some peace. I am sure bringing home Jeff's empty cat carrier would have brought on a whole set of new questions.

This morning he asked Marc where Jeff was and Marc didn't know how to respond and I wasn't home.

Lucas is going to ask questions-he has grown up with Jeff always around. He would come sit in the family room when we all played. He would make his rounds and watch as I put Lucas to bed. Lucas would help me feed Jeff every night when we got home. He may have been just a cat to some people but he was part of our family.