Monday, February 2, 2009

Winter Blues and random thoughts

I think I need a laptop. Just before I go to sleep I think of all these great things to add to the blog. But when I get up and have to face the work of my day, they get lost or put off. So if I had a laptop, I could do all of this in bed:)

First thought-Even though I hate the snow I can't wait for Lucas to get out into it! We have such a great hill in front of our house and I know he would love to slide down it! And I can't wait to get him his own shovel so he can help me clean the driveway and front walk. Growing up I had my own shovel and I loved to go out and help my dad clear the driveway/front porch.

Second thought-I am paranoid. I don't mean like I worry people talk about me when I leave the room (if I am that exciting to them, go ahead and talk!) or that I think the government is listening to my phone calls, but I am paranoid when it comes to Lucas and his development. Last week when I arrived at the Carriage House to get him, he was in the general play area with one of his teachers and all the older infants. I immediately stopped and thought, "What activity are the other young toddlers doing that Lucas can't because he is the only one not walking?" Seriously, this is what ran through my head. I tried to brush it off by saying to him, "How nice you get to visit with your old friends." The teacher said that she had come out to help the Infant room teacher and Lucas wanted to come with her. He does like Pam so him wanting to be with her does make sense. When I got to the young toddler room to sign him out, the other children were just having playtime. But I worry So MUCH about what he can't do with his normal group because he won't walk. And now I get to see it at music class. He is one of only three that aren't walking on their own.

Third thought-I think we are making progress with my parents. They came down for a visit over MLK, Jr. Lucas was fine-he let my mom hold him, he wanted her to read him a story, he loved playing with my dad. I was so relieved. We are going to see them again in two weeks for Caleb's birthday and I hope to get up there in March. I think the more he gets used to seeing them the better.

Fourth thought-will I ever get used to being a mom? I still don't think I have it in me and I worry that I am depriving something for him because I am not the nurturing type. Sure Marc has that but almost to an excess. I wish Marc would see how differently Lucas acts with us. And Lucas has figured out he can get away with more with Marc and is preferring him over me sometimes.

Fifth thought-Did people really pray during the Super Bowl? There was one mother of a Steeler who admitted on TV that she had invoked the power of prayer when they were down. Is it really that important to you? With all the other issues in the world, where do you think your prayer request falls in line? I have little patiences for people like that . . .

1 comment:

Stacy said...

On thought #2: Kids are SO, SO different in development. It will make less and less difference as they grow up. It's hard, but you have to remind yourself of that daily.

And while JT is driven to walk, run, climb stairs, etc... I worry that his little tantrums mean that he's "mean". What if he uses his intelligence for evil instead of good?! I constantly have to think, "what did I do today to help my son grow up as a NICE person." I'm just saying - it's always something in motherhood!

On thought #5: Sometimes I like to test the power of prayer. I think I'm due a small one now and then to know He's listening. It doesn't mean I'm not also praying for the big things. It just doesn't exactly make the news when I pray that my flavor of ice cream is on the menu and then it actually is! :)

Take care, Lynn! If we lived closer... we'd be a dangerous mommy-duo!