Decisions, Decisions

When I was going back to work, we didn't have many options on where to have Lucas go to daycare. We knew we had an in at the Carriage House and I knew it was a great program. But it was a lot of money. There was another center closer to home that we put our name on the waiting list but they said they probably didn't have a spot for us then. They called at one point and asked if we were still interested and I said no.

Well, now we are thinking of persuing this second site. After all of us visiting it and getting all the details, I think it is going to be a better fit for our family. The care Lucas has received at the Carriage House has been wonderful; the enrichment activities they do with him are great and the location is conveinent for both Marc and I. But (and yes, I am going to sound like one of those mothers), I have some issues with the room Lucas will probably go into next year. Having worked at the Carriage House, I know the feel of the room is different-the teachers tend to be a bit more stressed. Lucas is a sensitive little guy and I think he will pick up on the stress and it will make him anxious-OK, just trust me on this. Every time I walk by the room, it feels different from the environment in the other rooms. And the families, though very nice, are all local to the neighborhood-we don't have much interaction with them outside of dropping off and picking up. And the cost is something to consider-child care is not cheap in Pittsburgh and not that I want to go the budget route with his care but we need to consider our budget. I am going to need a new car this year and if we can save $1000 a year in child care, it is something to consider.

After looking at the other site, they are accredited just like the Carriage House; some of the teachers have been working there for 10+ years, just like the Carriage House; they do music and art and go outside (they have a beautiful garden courtyard that the rooms look out to and they use it a lot) and have a gym, just like the Carriage House. They don't provide lunch in the cost of tuition but there is a program we can enroll in for an extra fee a month. And the biggest issue for me right now, these are families who are like us-socio economically and location. The children in this program are probably ones Lucas will be going to school with. And playdates will be more realistic-which is something that will be more and more important to me (and Lucas) in the near future.

Ugh-Marc and I have been talking a lot about it and even though we are pretty sure we will leave the Carriage House, we have to still sign the official papers to enroll. Marc gave a verbal commitment to the new site today.

And now the guilt-when Lucas and I were leaving yesterday, the director saw us. She waved and said good bye to Lucas and to that she would see him tomorrow. One of Lucas' current teachers always calls him her snuggle bug-she dotes on him and he really really likes her. I know Lucas is young and he will adapt to the new site but it is breaking my heart thinking about having to drop him off in August at a new place and the confusion he will feel. I am hoping maybe we can do some transitioning with him over the summer.

Developmental Spurt

It seems like the last few days Lucas has changed so much. He is standing on his own more and is slowing starting to walk more. His bottom eye teeth are finally threw and I hope we get a break from the teething until the fall. These last set haven't been too bad but I am sure his mouth is sore. The biggest change has been in his verbal abilities. He said "Poppa" clearly on Sunday-it was funny especially since this is what we call Marc's dad and he was there when Lucas said it. He is also saying babies and puppies. Marc said on the way in to daycare on Tuesday, Lucas talked about babies and puppies non stop. When they got to the center, Lucas then wanted to see the babies. He has a word for milk and Jeff. He says something that sounds like moon and I swear he said purple over the weekend. He is really becoming a little boy more and more every day. And last night as Marc was playing with him, rocking him like he was a baby, all I could think of was that those days are slowly slipping from us. Soon Lucas will think it is very funny to be rocked like a baby and will probably tell us so.

Getting older

It is funny to see how people realize time passes and we are getting older. For me it comes in seeing how bigger Lucas' friends from daycare are getting. Not necessarily his class friends, but the older boys who are now Toddlers or the little babies who were just starting when Lucas was moving to his new room. This weekend there were a few other examples:

My sister's kids, who used to want to play with me and Marc, or sit on our laps, now are too busy doing other things. They say hi and are excited to see Lucas but they aren't as much into spending time with us.

And on our way up to Buffalo, Lucas was actually singing along to a song. We were playing his CD from music class. Several of the songs have an echo part and he started to echo back! What happened to my little boy who just babbled?

Winter Blues and random thoughts

I think I need a laptop. Just before I go to sleep I think of all these great things to add to the blog. But when I get up and have to face the work of my day, they get lost or put off. So if I had a laptop, I could do all of this in bed:)

First thought-Even though I hate the snow I can't wait for Lucas to get out into it! We have such a great hill in front of our house and I know he would love to slide down it! And I can't wait to get him his own shovel so he can help me clean the driveway and front walk. Growing up I had my own shovel and I loved to go out and help my dad clear the driveway/front porch.

Second thought-I am paranoid. I don't mean like I worry people talk about me when I leave the room (if I am that exciting to them, go ahead and talk!) or that I think the government is listening to my phone calls, but I am paranoid when it comes to Lucas and his development. Last week when I arrived at the Carriage House to get him, he was in the general play area with one of his teachers and all the older infants. I immediately stopped and thought, "What activity are the other young toddlers doing that Lucas can't because he is the only one not walking?" Seriously, this is what ran through my head. I tried to brush it off by saying to him, "How nice you get to visit with your old friends." The teacher said that she had come out to help the Infant room teacher and Lucas wanted to come with her. He does like Pam so him wanting to be with her does make sense. When I got to the young toddler room to sign him out, the other children were just having playtime. But I worry So MUCH about what he can't do with his normal group because he won't walk. And now I get to see it at music class. He is one of only three that aren't walking on their own.

Third thought-I think we are making progress with my parents. They came down for a visit over MLK, Jr. Lucas was fine-he let my mom hold him, he wanted her to read him a story, he loved playing with my dad. I was so relieved. We are going to see them again in two weeks for Caleb's birthday and I hope to get up there in March. I think the more he gets used to seeing them the better.

Fourth thought-will I ever get used to being a mom? I still don't think I have it in me and I worry that I am depriving something for him because I am not the nurturing type. Sure Marc has that but almost to an excess. I wish Marc would see how differently Lucas acts with us. And Lucas has figured out he can get away with more with Marc and is preferring him over me sometimes.

Fifth thought-Did people really pray during the Super Bowl? There was one mother of a Steeler who admitted on TV that she had invoked the power of prayer when they were down. Is it really that important to you? With all the other issues in the world, where do you think your prayer request falls in line? I have little patiences for people like that . . .