When we went to the peds today for Lucas' one year appointment, there were two newborn babies there. Wow! Did that take me back real quick. It was funny to see Lucas watch them as he waved his huge yellow plastic spoon (the toy of choice today) and to see one dad look at Lucas and smile. I wanted to say to him, We were in your shoes a year ago and it is true what everyone says-the time does go by fast. A year ago today I was taking my first shower after having the magn drip taken out. I was finally IV free and I needed to get down to see Lucas for myself. He was so tiny.
My mom called last night and congratulated me on surviving our first year. She said that it wasn't easy, she can even admit that, and I faced some pretty big obstacles those first few weeks. Things will get easy in different ways and more difficult in others but it won't be as hard. Somehow I need to remember that in the coming years . . .
And last night as I rocked our little guy to sleep, I cherished being able to hold him, thankful that I was able to hold him then and letting go of the fact I wasn't able to hold him after he was born.
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