The price of childhood-$55.00

Strange title I know. I just took part in a great consignment event called Snuggle Bugs. It is held twice a year and this is the 4th time I have been a consignor. Since we aren't having any more kids and don't have anyone to pass things onto, I sell a lot of things Lucas has outgrown. Whatever doesn't get sold you have the option to donate to charity which is the option I normally take. This time around I sold Lucas' changing table and his crib bedding. I got $55.00 for them. And while I willing put the bedding on sale and event offered it at half price in the final days, I was sad when I realized it had actually sold. I mean, really really sad. So sad I wish I hadn't put it up for sale. WTH? It is bedding! From JCPenney's. Someone else was going to be able to use it for their new little one. But I felt crushed. I have kept a number of Lucas' things-outfits I really liked on him. I know by the time he has kids they will be out of date and style, not to mention will probably have fallen apart. But it will be fun to show him in a few years how small he was. But the bedding-why am I so attached to this? He never used the quilt (he is clearly his father's child) and the theme was just "Hey Diddle Diddle." I believe that memories are not attached to things so I normally don't have an issue donating or giving things to other people. My memory is still pretty good that I don't need to have an object around to recall the feelings. So this whole attachment to a quilt that Lucas never used is mind boggling to me.

Life is Messy-Get Dirty

In my natural preference, I am neat and organized. I love having everything in place-at least everything that I can control. But I am also well aware that there are times when things will be messy and disorganized. For example, right now there is a load of Lucas' clean laundry sitting in the living room. It is folded but I just haven't found the time to get it up to his room. I have a number of winter clothes on my hope chest waiting to be put away when I swap my spring clothes. Does it annoy me that they are there, yes. But I haven't had the time to devote to completing that project like I should. So they will wait there at least another day.

I also love two things that tend to be messy-gardening and cooking. What gets me through the messy stage in either of these two activities is knowing that I can clean up at the end it everything will look great!

Today's Daily Groove message from Scott Noelle talks about Life being messy. Our culture takes a negative view of messiness in the normal order of things. When it comes to raising children, messy is just the new normal. I know that and have come to accept that. Do I teach Lucas the importance of cleaning up, yes. Do I encourage behavior that will lead to less messiness, yes. But he if decides that he wants to drag his soldiers out and dumps them on the floor as part of some great imaginary game he is playing-GREAT! If he wants to take his shoes off to see how the sand feels in his toes-go for it! You have to be messy to experience the joys of life. My mom got him rain boots several weeks ago so he could jump in the puddles. I have been waiting for a chance to get these on him. I can't wait for him to help me with the garden. I even bought him his own set of gardening tools for Easter.

What I don't get is that Marc, who is normally not as organized or neat as me, gets very bothered by me encouraging Lucas to be messy. I can just see the anxiety rising in him when things start to get a little out of control. I just keep telling him that is why we have water, soap, a washing machine and extra clothes.

Patience and the Evil TV

For the holidays this year, Lucas got a number of classic childhood board games-Candyland, Shutes and Ladders, Hi Ho Cherrio, Memory. I knew it was time to introduce him to the skills learned through board games, mainly following directions and patience. Well, he is clearly as patient as him mother his which is not saying much.

We broke out Shutes and Ladders about two weeks ago after dinner. I have fond memories of playing this game with my sister and grandma when I was younger. It is the game that brought on our family's infamous cheating incident. I had dreams of having great family games nights where we would gather around our dining room table and laugh at all the fun we were having. But I wanted that dream to happen now-clearly it wasn't going to work that way. Lucas didn't want to wait his turn, he didn't want to follow directions. I was growing more and more frustrated by the minute.

And then I just gave into it. I forgot all about teaching Lucas the skills and following the rules to the game-after all it was the first time he had even played it. He decided he was going to move his game piece all over the board, have him knock into the other game pieces, go down the ladders and up the slides. Who cares? We have time to try again . . .

The reason I wanted to have the game night was because I hate how much TV Lucas is watching. I won't tell you when or how much because I am embarassed but it is more than I want him to. Yes, it is educational programming but we have three rooms full of toys he doesn't touch because of the TV. So the night we introduced the games was a no TV night. And we have had a few other times when the TV has been off. And it is wonderful! I admit, having the TV on is an easy distration when I am trying to get dinner ready or some other household task that I struggle with as a working mom. But I hate it. This past weekend we didn't get to our normal music class because I had another commitment. When we got home, Lucas asked to put his music on. So I grabbed the CD player and he was so excited to help me put the CD in and then push the play button. We listened to two CDs worth of music and had a great time. He sang, danced and played with toys he hasn't touched in a while.