The Love of a Mom

Someone I knew from high school recently posted a story about her cousin on Facebook. The cousin, let's call her Diana, was the mother of two boys and lost her battle with cancer. My friend was posting the story as a rememberance and included some pictures of her and her sons. Even though I had never met Diana, I took a look at the pictures. What struck me initially is that any picture she had with her boys, she wasn't looking at them, she wasn't doing silly things or making a goofy face like they were. Rather, she was looking straight into the camera. While her boys posed in all different ways and with silly faces, as boys that age will do, her look remained the same.

At first I thought it was because she was at peace with the course her illness was taking. There may not have been any options left and she was doing things to enjoy her time with family. And the pictures were a record of that special time. Then it dawned on me-these pictures were for her boys.

She knew she didn't have much time so her expression in every picture said the same thing to her boys: Don't be afraid and don't be sad.I will always love you, I will always be with you and I will always be your mom.

I can't even begin to imagine how important she knew those pictures would be to her sons in the days, months, years to come as they grow and become adults. Those pictures are going to serve as a living legacy to her boys.

What a wonderful thing to give them.

Face2Face

I saw there is a new group forming in the 'Burgh that is for women who have suffered pregnancy or infant loss. It was posted on a discussion board I check and I though, "Why not?" I joined and quickly got an invite to their first gathering. It is close to work, on a night that I happen to be staying here late. I want to go but I don't want to be "that person" who suffered losses but now has a child. Some people can see past that and some can't, depending where they are in the grief process. I might just email the organizers and see what they think.

I think it is important to have this resource and stop with the shame in admitting you suffered a loss. I can certainly speak to how miserable and jealous I felt when people close to me were experiencing the joy of a new baby while I was morning the loss of mine.