Marc is in Dallas at his yearly professional conference. Our phone calls are normally about how boring his sessions are and how much he and his father have eaten. Since Marc is away, I was trying to think of special things to do with Lucas. Wednesday we needed to go shopping so I decided to head to our local food court for dinner then off to the grocery store.
While Lucas and I were eating our lovely dinners, some random thoughts came to mind. Like for as loud and active as he is normally, Lucas did great eating, undistracted, quietly and even in a regular chair! I didn't want to fuss with the mall highchairs. Sure, he probably could have used a phone book to boost him up a few inches but for the most part, he was able to reach his chicken tenders and didn't let all the other activity get in the way of our meal together. I was able to really look at him and realize that he is truly a little boy now. no more babies for him. That was just reinforced when he pulled up his pants after I had changed him and he is also tried to get his jacket off without my help. I know it seems silly-you are his mom, of course you should be noticing these changes in him, but sometimes they are really subtle and you don't see them.
I also had a moment of absolute panic there-I didn't have Lucas in his stroller, i figured he could use the walk and he is pretty good about holding my hand when we are out. As I tried to manage my purse, his diaper bag, our food while I had to go to a second food place to buy his milk, I lost sight of him for a half second. He was walking around next to me and within sight but suddenly, I didn't see him anymore. Luckily he was right next to me but i was looking farther out. all I could imagine is that someone had taken him and it wouldn't have been that hard. I would have been easy prey-a mom distracted by other things for only a second, a fairly busy spot in the food court and a little boy who was testing his freedom. I was sick to my stomach after that. I had my hand on his thigh all through dinner. At one point he asked me, "Why you holding me?" And I simply said because "I love you and don't want anything to happen to you."
Friday, November 20, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
The weekend home in pictures
The cats
Aunt Sue's dog, Yukon
In Bapa's vehicle
The Cousins
Nana watching Lucas eat Angel Food Cake
Amy, Lucas and Aunt Sue
A little boy's dream-trucks that make noise
Jake, Bapa's old dog
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Random thoughts
A lot going on right now . . . Trying to keep up with things at work, at home, in life.
The GREAT news is that Lucas and I are venturing to the great white north for a visit this weekend. I.Am.So.Excited!!!! My sister and I are going to a wonderful craft fair Friday night and the rest of the time is going to be spent visiting with family. We haven't been home since June (I think) and that makes me sad:( There won't be any garden to play in at Bapa's house but at least Jake the dog will be there to entertain Lucas, and of course his boy cousins Bryce and Caleb. My excitement is beyond words. It will be good to get home.
The Confused news is that I think we might have made a mistake in changing daycares. I am a big fan of logic and logically all the reasons we made the change made sense. But then I had a feeling and I normally don't trust or rely on my feelings to make decisions or even to make sense of things. For those of you who are familiar with the MBTI, I am a HUGE S and T. OK, so it started first by not having daily contact with his classroom teachers at the end of the day. At the old center there was always someone from his normal class there when I picked him up so I always got a report of how his day was. At this center we rely on a paper that may or may not be filled out completely. His teachers are all gone by 5pm-granted, I can always call to see how he is doing but I don't always have the time to do that.
Second, they don't have many structured activities to expose him to things-the old center would bake every couple of weeks, do different activities centered on a theme. This center seems like they just pull out different toys and let the children play with them. And we never see any artwork! Every week the old center would send us home with things-too many pictures and projects for us to even hang up but it was nice to see.
And then the lunch program-one of the biggest perks to both the old center and the new center was that they provided lunch for the little man. HUGE thing for me. We were even willing to pay extra for it at the new center. It was worth not having to worry about getting a lunch together for Lucas every morning. And the old center had some pretty neat things to eat-not the typical school fare. But then we got notice that the new center was going to be stopping their lunch program. We are in day three of bringing Lucas' lunch and so far things are fine but it has been a hassle-I know, with time we will get into a rhythm. But they don't even provide milk for him! And the snacks they do provide are all carbs and sugar. Ugh.
I have been talking with two other moms who have children about Lucas' age at the center and they love it. I am hoping their perspective on things will ease my concerns. In the meantime, we have Lucas' conference this week and I am trying to figure out how to give them feedback in a positive way that doesn't get us labeled as "Those parents."
Another Confusing thought-could I really hang up my career and become a fulltime mom? It would certainly help with the feelings I have with the new center (lol). I really love the things that Lucas and I do, especially on Saturdays, and I love having Marc come home to a fairly organized house. I will always struggle with the balance of working and being a mom but I love on Saturdays to be able to have Marc come home to dinner cooking, laundry done, beds made-much too traditional for me, I know but I still like that feeling. But would I want to do that all the time? Probably not. While I love spending time with my little man, I need that adult interaction and mental stimulation.
But forget all of this, did I tell you I am headed home this weekend? I.Am.So.Excited . . . .
The GREAT news is that Lucas and I are venturing to the great white north for a visit this weekend. I.Am.So.Excited!!!! My sister and I are going to a wonderful craft fair Friday night and the rest of the time is going to be spent visiting with family. We haven't been home since June (I think) and that makes me sad:( There won't be any garden to play in at Bapa's house but at least Jake the dog will be there to entertain Lucas, and of course his boy cousins Bryce and Caleb. My excitement is beyond words. It will be good to get home.
The Confused news is that I think we might have made a mistake in changing daycares. I am a big fan of logic and logically all the reasons we made the change made sense. But then I had a feeling and I normally don't trust or rely on my feelings to make decisions or even to make sense of things. For those of you who are familiar with the MBTI, I am a HUGE S and T. OK, so it started first by not having daily contact with his classroom teachers at the end of the day. At the old center there was always someone from his normal class there when I picked him up so I always got a report of how his day was. At this center we rely on a paper that may or may not be filled out completely. His teachers are all gone by 5pm-granted, I can always call to see how he is doing but I don't always have the time to do that.
Second, they don't have many structured activities to expose him to things-the old center would bake every couple of weeks, do different activities centered on a theme. This center seems like they just pull out different toys and let the children play with them. And we never see any artwork! Every week the old center would send us home with things-too many pictures and projects for us to even hang up but it was nice to see.
And then the lunch program-one of the biggest perks to both the old center and the new center was that they provided lunch for the little man. HUGE thing for me. We were even willing to pay extra for it at the new center. It was worth not having to worry about getting a lunch together for Lucas every morning. And the old center had some pretty neat things to eat-not the typical school fare. But then we got notice that the new center was going to be stopping their lunch program. We are in day three of bringing Lucas' lunch and so far things are fine but it has been a hassle-I know, with time we will get into a rhythm. But they don't even provide milk for him! And the snacks they do provide are all carbs and sugar. Ugh.
I have been talking with two other moms who have children about Lucas' age at the center and they love it. I am hoping their perspective on things will ease my concerns. In the meantime, we have Lucas' conference this week and I am trying to figure out how to give them feedback in a positive way that doesn't get us labeled as "Those parents."
Another Confusing thought-could I really hang up my career and become a fulltime mom? It would certainly help with the feelings I have with the new center (lol). I really love the things that Lucas and I do, especially on Saturdays, and I love having Marc come home to a fairly organized house. I will always struggle with the balance of working and being a mom but I love on Saturdays to be able to have Marc come home to dinner cooking, laundry done, beds made-much too traditional for me, I know but I still like that feeling. But would I want to do that all the time? Probably not. While I love spending time with my little man, I need that adult interaction and mental stimulation.
But forget all of this, did I tell you I am headed home this weekend? I.Am.So.Excited . . . .
Mommy and her hero on Halloween
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