Keep Stellan in your prayers

Please keep this little boy in your prayers over the next few days. Here is his story . Stellan as a heart condition and he is not doing well. He has had to undure many procedures and the doctors still don't know what the best course of action is for him-even if there is one at this point. I can't even begin to get my head around his condition but my heart breaks for his parents, especially his mom who has been at his bedside through most of it.

Breakthrough?

No marriage is perfect-throw kids on top of it all and it can get messy. Marc and I are still trying to figure out an effective way to communicate but it is a struggle at times. And the whole appreciation thing, or lack there of, is worthy its own blog. Do you want to show me some appreciation? Don't make out with me as I am trying to go to bed-pick something up.

This weekend Marc finally said to me, "I don't give you enough credit and I know that." I can't even remember why he said it, what had prompted the statement (I know we weren't fighting) but I hope this is a breakthrough. It isn't about who is wrong or who is right for me-it is about what makes the most sense and is best for Lucas. Marc came up with a new plan to help Lucas go to sleep and you know what, it has been working great for about 3 weeks. I am thrilled that bedtime is no longer a huge stress point for us and I know Lucas is responding well to the changes. And I am grateful that Marc decided to make the changes and took ownership of it. That is what it should be like, rather than it being a contest or having to convince him of what seems like the simplest of things.

On a somewhat related note, I have been seriously thinking about changing careers. Since I seem to be the one women come to to share struggles with being a new mom, I have given a lot of thought to the lack of formal support there is. Sure we have our postpartum check up with our docs anywhere from 4-6 weeks after giving birth, but how many doctors really take an interest in how you are handling being a new mom? I know in my appointment, the doc had just come in from delivering another baby and had a waiting room full of women she needed to see. She didn't seem to take a real interest in asking the probing questions-and to be honest with you, I am not sure I would have been honest with her even if she had. But newborns see a ped one week after they are born and several more times in those first few months. Why not have a social worker see every new mom at their well baby visits and see how she is coping? Maybe it is because I had a horrible experience those first 6 months (OK, full year) and want to help other women who might now have full blown postpartum depression but are still struggling.

Of course, to do this, I would need to go back to school and that just seems like a very daunting task right now. My current place of employment does have a top rated Social work program and I could easily convince my boss that it would give me a better counseling skill base which in turn would make me a better counselor for my students. This is true but the end would be a new career for me. It has been a long time since I was in school and the thought of taking the GRE is more frightning than labor all over again. And it would take me a long time to do it-the most I could do was two classes each term. The program is 39 credits-it would take me a little over 2 years to complete. That is without any of my previous grad credits transferring in.

Taking a fun look back

Every once in a while I get a kick in the pants to be creative. I used to scrapbook but once the little man came along, it had to be put on hold. In planning for Lucas' second birthday (GASP!), I thought it would be fun to do a scrapbook of his last year, from his last birthday to August 2009. I picture our families looking at it and being amazed at how much he has grow. It has been so much fun pulling out old pictures and seeing how much he has changed and all the fun memories I have of us as a family. I have gotten a lot done so far-I am working on cropping the pictures from May, but I have the pages from August 2008 to April 2009 all laid out and glued-I just need to write the narrative.

The sad thing is that there aren't that many pictures of Marc's family with Lucas. There are lots and lots of pictures with my family. I wonder if they will notice that and maybe change the way they interact with Lucas. I can't force it but it seems like such a shame that they give so much of their energy and time to my sister in law's two boys, who lives less than a mile from us.

Unforgettable sounds

I am sure most parents remember quite clearly the various sounds their children make. Like the first time you heard your child cry after being born, all those funny little snorts newborns make when sleeping, the way their first try laugh sounded like pure heaven, the way they say "momma" or "dada" for the first time.

And then there are the not so nice sounds, like the first time your child cries out in pain from shots, when you leave them at daycare and they realize you aren't staying for the day.

Yesterday I unfortunately got to experience one of the not so nice sounds. Lucas and I were playing and he slipped out of my hands. We were in the dining room with hardwood floors. He fell but wasn't prepared for the landing and ended up face down on the floor. I don't know what was worse, the sound he made as he landed chin first or the cries of pain afterwards, or even Marc's voice as he acted like I was incapable of making good choices for our son. Lucas ended up with a bruised chin and he must have bit his cheek because there was a bit of blood in his mouth. After about 30 minutes he had calmed down and was resting on the couch watching Elmo. By the end of the night he was playing.

Accidents happen-clearly I didn't intend on having Lucas fall. I was horrified at what happened. But Marc acts like Lucas can never get a bump or a scatch.

Traveling man

We did some traveling over the holiday weekend to Columbus OH. We got to see and stay with friends John, Stacy and JT. JT is going to be 2 tomorrow-it was fun to watch him interact with Lucas. I thought for sure there would be some typical toddler tandrums and "MINE" but they had few issues. JT was even open to Lucas crawling up on Stacy's lap during the fireworks, sitting with John while he read them a book and even having Lucas sit almost his lap while they watched "Cars". Our Mr. No Napper and No Sleeping in my own bed was in fully force though. So Marc and I didn't get much restful sleep-come on Lucas! You need to sleep-you are like Mommy's tomatoes that grow at night with the moon.

We also spent a night with Marc's aunt and uncle and their two wonderful dogs-Max and Millie. They have a beautiful house with an inground pool. I was in HEAVEN! Marc kept saying how happy I was to be in the water. Of course I was! I grew up swimming and miss it. Nothing beats a sunny day in a warm inground pool. Lucas wasn't too sure about wearing the life vest at first but we changed to a different one and he was much happier. Marc and Lucas took a couple of turns in the raft with me pulling. The highlight was getting to be friends with Max-a 9 month old English Golden Retriever. He is beautiful and he and Lucas seemed to be buddies during the time we were there. At one point Lucas was calling for the puppy!

It was nice to be away and see how easily Lucas can adapt to new surrounding but then Monday we were back home and our normal life started again-laundry, mail, planning meals, work.